Beautiful Worlds

I feel like I'm running trying to catch a broken string kite. Willingly, running against the wind; still trying to catch it.

Tonight, I and Ma had a mother to daughter conversation. She asked whether not I am capable of having a relationship. I said yes, but then she asked me once more. Could you? I knew she wasn’t being sarcastic nor underestimating her daughter. I mean, she’s my mother. Of course she knew better.

So, yea... I can’t utter her properly. So I told her exactly what I need from my partner. I’d offer my honesty, my commitment, my respect, my trust and finally share intimacy. If a person could fulfil these 5 things that I could offer, I could keep one steady relationship once again. I made myself clear throughout my past relationships, a bold voice that I won’t tolerate with one way street of understanding.

I believe that love is a two way street; one to take, one to give and vice versa. I may not need you to tell me everything you do, I may not need you to have to lie to me just to keep me away from harm and I may not need you to love me like I’m your everything. I’d rather be someone to you than being everything. I’d rather hear the dreadful truth rather than you being caught red handed. And I’d rather not know everything about you because I’d feel better just knowing you. Such obsessions aren’t my idea neither of loving nor to love someone. Fulfil this and you get my commitment.

Honestly, I do not believe in loyalty but I do believe in being faithfulness. My dedications will hence a great respect and trust all at once. I’d give you all the free will you need as long as you’ll come back to me in one piece; without any torn or bruises. This is where it’ll hurt the most. And this is where I usually take leave. One only can stay, but never overwhelmed your welcome. So, mostly they didn’t manage to stay; being drowned in their own welcoming.

Many had told me to give out chances. Though the way I looked at it, I’ve given too many spaces for chances and opportunities. Still, none was taken. I guess, it’s such a great waste.

So now you know whether not I could keep one relationship steady.