Beautiful Worlds
by Faye Kusairi31.5.10
Nudist Confused Us All.
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts his picture in half and sends her the top part.
Later, he receives another letter asking him to send another picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but
accidentally sends her the bottom part. He is really worried when he realizes that he has sent the wrong part, but he remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes that she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives another letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle... It makes your nose look long." - http://www.funnyjokesgo.com/
29.5.10
Saya Suka, Kamu Suka?
Gembira gembira, aku suka.
Hujung minggu ini, hampir tamatlah tempoh permergian ku.
Satu lagi minggu, maka kembalilah aku pada kamu.
Suka, aku suka.
Teramatlah aku gembira.
Kembalilah aku pada chenta hatiku.
Hanya satu lagi minggu.
happy LittleMissNervous.
28.5.10
Liar Liar, Ass On Fire!
" I've never told a lie.And that makes me a saint.Never make a bet.But we gamble with desire.I've never let a match with intent to start a fire. "
But the truth is, recently the flames are getting out of control.
God! You're such a big fat liar!
27.5.10
A Pursuit Of Happiness
I learned that no matter what you are or what you want to be, the only way you are going to get anywhere in life is to work hard at it. There is no getting around it. This time I’ll keep my dreams alive. I now understand that to achieve anything requires faith and the belief in me, my vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. I do believe that hard work certainly goes a long way. These days, a lot of people work hard. So I come to realise that I have to make sure that I work even harder and really dedicate myself to what I am doing and setting out to achieve it. To have a career and then to work hard on it, is the key to a success and happiness. I believe I was born to succeed, not to fail.
A wise man once told me, “There is only one success. That is to be able to spend your life in your own way”. – Best advice I received.
" Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own efforts. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success ".
23.5.10
Somehow, I'll miss this place.
Today was a beautiful day. As me, my dad and my brother when out after breakfast, I could stop noticing how wonderful was the sky. The air feels clean, the sea seems calming and blue, the sun shine divinely and so the sky looks heavenly.
We passed by Lutong Kindergarten; it’s a Chinese kindergarten where I had my early education. I attended that school for 2 years. I remembered the first day of kindergarten. I was literally shooing my dad to go home and leave me alone at school. I was so thrilled to learn as I saw my sister had homework and stuff. I didn’t really care about having friends at school, because I enjoyed competing with others. Hell, remembered scoring A’s for Chinese language even. *giggles* Hence, I learn to speak Mandarin fluently and discover my passion towards sport. I won my first gold medal for a 50meter run at the kindergarten’s sports day.
We passed by Lutong Kindergarten; it’s a Chinese kindergarten where I had my early education. I attended that school for 2 years. I remembered the first day of kindergarten. I was literally shooing my dad to go home and leave me alone at school. I was so thrilled to learn as I saw my sister had homework and stuff. I didn’t really care about having friends at school, because I enjoyed competing with others. Hell, remembered scoring A’s for Chinese language even. *giggles* Hence, I learn to speak Mandarin fluently and discover my passion towards sport. I won my first gold medal for a 50meter run at the kindergarten’s sports day.
Little offspring Afay went to this kindergarten at the tender age of 4 years old.
Then, when I turned 7, my mum had registered me into a Malay school; just next to my kindergarten. Though, I was a little disappointed because I wanted to continue school at Chong Hua Primary School. My mum’s reason was that she can’t help me with the Chinese language subject. So, entered SK Lutong and was put in 1 Hijau; the cutest thing! As usual, I didn’t make many friends because I was so competitive in sports and education. Lotsa people in school didn’t really liked me because they said I was a little too fierce and ignorance. I remembered my first flop in primary 4. I was so scared to go back to tell my parents about my grades, I literally cried in class! *Laugh hysterically* Silly Little Afay.
The school has been upgraded. Back then, SK Lutong has just little tiny buildings.
At primary 5, my family had to move to Bintulu as my dad was being promoted and transferred there. We moved back to Miri when I was 15. I was accepted in SMK Lutong. Funny and long story, I was accepted as the school coach recommended me. So from there, I became a respected student as I contributed lots in sport to the school. Though, I preferred to keep my distant from my schoolmates. I factually had only 3 friends in the entire school. I didn’t really talk much to people in school. But yeah, good old days; I enjoyed my high school days there.
Rebellious Faye finished high school at 2004 here. Good old days.
Somehow, I was tired of Miri. In 2005, I left my hometown for KL to further my studies. Though, at this time, I came back and see how everything had changed. Everything seems better. Everybody I knew had different life. Some are married and have children of their own, some had worked and having fat wallets, even some are still lost and died! - No comment. Of course I had come back once or twice over the years, but only now I see things better. I guess I’m more mature now. Everything I see was only beauty, no matter how polluted was the Lutong river or how the native teenagers walking around looking like morons wearing something really really disturbingly ugly and weird. But this is where I grew up; where I took my first sigh on earth. Even though it is indeed my hometown, I’m not here to stay. Though, I know that my heart doesn’t belong but I’ll always be a proud Mirian. I mean, who knows? This could be my last visit here. Then I realised that somehow, there will come a day, I will miss this place again.
" Our deepest fear is not that we are imperfect.Our deepest fear is that we will come to realise that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?” Well, I think it’s actually, who are you not to be? We are the children of God. Playing it small does not serve the world. There is nothing liberal about shrinking, so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make visible the glory of God that’s within us. Not just in some of us, but I believe it's in all of us. And if we let our own light shine, we automatically give other people permission to do the same.As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence certainly liberates others ".– My belief.
21.5.10
Happy
I feel like a flower blossom as just the after rain hits. No matter how cruel the sun had burn onto my skin or the storm had blown my soul into those cold nights, I know I'll still be alright. I've got him with me. So yeah, no matter what, I'm still gonna be having a big smile on my face because he truly loves me.
Indeed he is my greatest love of all.
"Love is not a word you say or tell to express it. It's how you make someone to feel the existance of your affection".
I'm happy.
19.5.10
One Evening
Today I look up at the sky.
Today I looked up at the beautiful sky high.
And the sky is the limit. They say the sky is the limit, and we believed it.
The sun had almost set the day to a gorgeous night, and it looks so magical.
It was divinely stunning.
Wonderful, I feel so wonderful. Blessed and thankful.
I looked up at the sky and you were on my mind.
You have made me touched the sky, even, more than once. You brought me high, like I was in the sky.
Today love, today I looked up at the sky.
Then I fell a beat in my heart. You have always be the one.
For my yesterdays, today and always, you are always on my mind.
They say the sky is the limit.
But I've been to the sky and you're still the reason for me to fly high in your heavenly sky. I miss you.
18.5.10
WORD.
Maybe you are just a normal person. I think what makes you different is that I believe you have superpowers. It's like when we were kids, we used to believe that our dad or anyone closest to us has superhero powers, just because we look up to them that highly and love them to a great level of respect that we could even create an imagination that we could not differentiate between reality and fantasy anymore.
The power of love and affection, none could escape the tenderness it brings to one's heart. Such beautiful feelings it offers.
I soon learned that you are what you said. You are straight and you mean what you said, though you may not seem rather serious towards it. Of course, you'd try to be as perfect as you can be. God forbids, I do too. All of these tryings made us realise that it definitely is a rollercoaster ride; this relationship. But after all the ups and downs, here we are. Still, at the end of the day, we are one. We still have each other and our love grew stronger each time.
They say "love is blind, marriage is the eye opener". Fortunately, this doesn't apply to us though. We quickly learn to love each other unconditionally and faith had open our hearts and mind to exude fate itself.
Now that's deep.
MFS.
16.5.10
Are You Happy Now?
Previously, he asked me. "Are you okay?".
My silence was noticed. I bought a cake and ate. I said I was okay.
He knows it. Later he said to me, "I am not siding anyone. I am quite aware of who should be taking a step back and why or how it started. But I'm afraid it wouldn't matter to her".
All I heard was "Being in shame, some people rather live in sins, then blunder came along". You wish hard for it to happen, but look what it brought you. Disaster. You caused me nothing but trouble and look where it brought me. I dwell at the edge of the world along with hell's pleasure.
Look at what it had made you.
Will you ever be satisfied? Does it feeds upon your hunger?
Say it! You can't handle the truth.
Tell me, Are you happy now?
Broken Silence
These noises are killing me.
Kept on making these noises, it's like a routine I'm hearing.
I hear noises.
I'm hearing it daily.
I hear it consistantly.
I hear noises. I don't want to hear it!
These noises are killing me.
Please.
Please.
Shh...
14.5.10
Heh.
I don't know what went away. It's definitely not fun having doing nothing. Makes you feel crappy everyday thinking what to do next. It's even crappier when you've got something to do but the thing is the atmosphere aint neither what you like or it to like you. *sigh*
I used to be ambitious. I used to be energetic. I used to feel good about myself. But in time, I realised I let too much of craps in that I forgot it is bad to have a little of everything in. Dammit! I made a wrong move from the start. Now I just had to fix myself for it. It's not fun to posses anger. I'm like a fat angry little girl now. And I hate it. It brings such negative vibes upon myself and my life even. I know it sounds pathetic but boys and girls, this is a good lesson learned.
You should've keep some things to and for yourself. It's never harmful of being a little bit selfish as long as it is good for yourself. Well, I learned not to be a pleasing slavery now. Otherwise it'll eat you up without you realising it.
Bad pills be gone!
13.5.10
June
I have an itch.
June 19th is the date I was born. And this year I wish for a good birthday month.
Dammit!
Fingers crossed!
12.5.10
Beautiful Worlds
Most of the people I know are unreasonable, illogical and self centred.
I’d still love them anyway.
If I’m being nice, people may accuse me of having selfish motive.
I’d still be nice anyway.
If one day, I’ll be successful, I may win fake friends and true enemies.
Yet, I’ll succeed anyway.
The good I do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
I’d still do it anyway.
Honesty and transparency makes me feel vulnerable.
I’ll be honest and transparent anyway.
What I’ve spend time and effort building, may be destroyed overnight.
I kept on building it anyway.
People, who want to help me, may attack me if I help them.
I’d still help them anyway.
I give the world my best. Yet, I know that I may get hurt.
Still, I give it my best anyway.
Life’s too short for bullshits.
I live in these beautiful worlds;
Sins, Deeds and Mine.
11.5.10
Soon
Soon we will feel no hurricane,
for each of us will be shelter to the other.
Soon we will feel no cold,
for each of us will be warmth to the other.
Soon there is no more loneliness,
for each of us will be companion to the other.
Now we are only a being of two bodies,
but there is only one life for us both.
So keep your strength with me dear,
We will go on to our dwelling place to enter into the days of our togetherness.
And may our days be good and long upon the earth.
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