Beautiful Worlds
by Faye Kusairi12.8.09
Wtf!
I have no words to say or tell. I'm really sad. And I mean really really sad. I feel so lost. Afraid. Stupid. Upset. Dissapointed. Hatred!!! If only I could replay and rewind the year, I'd go back to 2004 and stop then rewind at 2007. I wanna playback for several times just to ease my mind and heart. This is how bad I feel right now. U don't even know how terribly empty I am now. I am like a lost soul. I cry myself to sleep for every sleepless nights and birthdays I went through. Every songs I heard in the past, I'd remember U. Every blue days I went through, it reminds me of U. Every full moon I saw, I breathe in. All I can do is to remember U. I really loved u with all my heart and soul. I'd sell my soul for just a moment in the past when U were around. Honestly, I couldn't let U go from my heart. U had the best in me and I miss everything. I never hate U for what U did to me. Every day I'd wish to see you, even in just a glance. But I know I can never will.
11.8.09
Love inspired
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out whom you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or heart.Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.Talk to people whom you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold you head up because you have every right to.
Lost
To where I'm going?
I just don't know. I just can't answer, for there are no exact words to utter.
Wanna run away! Wanna walkway! Wanna fly away! AWAY! AWAY!! AWAY!!!
Far… far away. Go Away! I beg you dear dark shadow of mine. I'm crying for your attentions! I'm hurting by your intensions! I'm lost in your dimensions! And more, I'm dying with your existence!!!
To where is this going?
I just don't know. It swirls within my mind. It circles within my soul. It blends within my time. It conquers my heart. And in this moment in time, I am lost within myself. Universally, it controls every movement I make! I'm screaming for help!! Please aid me from this bleeding wound! Please oh please dear dark shadow of mine, have mercy on me. These tears I've cried had made me lost in time. I am restless of finding resolutions. I am tired of seeking reactions. And I am lifeless for an answer!
To where?
I just don't know. A part of me prompts. A part of me numbed. A part of me moves. A part of me fears. Yet, apart of me dares! I sway blindly from you. Virtually authorizing you, dear dark shadow! I fight my feelings. My fears. My thoughts. Just to find my way home. You! You are the only reason that kept me away from home. You! You are the reason that kept making me fall behind. And you!! You kept making me broken.
All these years I've been hiding under my shell. And every time I'm out, I fall apart. BECAUSE OF YOU!
To where is there?
I just really don't know! I gave in and kept on falling in and out all over again. I surrender once again. For you dear dark shadow, I'll walk through this path for you. I'll cut myself to bleed for you. I'll bruise in damage for you. And so, with this, I'll soon die for you. In next to no time, there will be death in a broken heart. There will be death in a repulsed mind. There will be death in a verdict life. And there shall be death, by a lost soul.
To where is there to go?
Truthfully, I know I am no longer alive nor a choice to live to possess a life. I am lost and no longer to be found in this revolted tour de force of a great master destroyer. For you are the creator, I am a beautiful disaster. And as long as you live, my dear dark shadow, I will be lost in a time, with nix ending.
Life
I specially wrote this as a friend to a friend.
Life…
It's never enough.
We are what we are… human beings.
Born into a world that's full of curiosity and desire.
Genuinely, we live in hunger.
And that's why it is never enough.
Life…
It revolves. One thing will relate to another.
And another relates to another... to another… to another.
Curiosity creates knowledge to us, and then we'll have desires.
Desires aspires us to be passionate.
Therefore we began to hope and make sacrifices.
Enduring the pain… just to fill in satisfaction.
For a one thing we are fond of, yet are vital in any way.
Undeniable that happiness is what we treasure in life.
Calmly embrace life as it is as we were the one who created it.
Life…
It's bordering on a tale.
It's meaningless without questions.
It's meaningless without answers.
Though, a question is not a question without an answer.
Some may find a blind alley to a typical question.
A question we think has no answer.
But I'm here to tell you, that question is left for us to answer.
Patiently endure circumstances and liberate yourself from abhorrence.
And soon, you'll find the answer that you seek.
Life…
Eccentrically, it is full of surprises.
And that makes it wonderful in any way.
Though, we are a contender in this world we live.
Life is a stage, where we play an individual yet vital role in it.
Every single move we make attracts criticizes before praises.
Consequently, expect the unexpected and dare to make changes.
Move forward. One step after another and you'll see what life has to offer with only a little patience.
With this, I dare to tell you that in time, "everything is going to be okay".
Life…
It's never enough.
We are what we are… human beings.
Born into a world that's full of curiosity and desire.
Genuinely, we live in hunger.
And that's why it is never enough.
Life…
It revolves. One thing will relate to another.
And another relates to another... to another… to another.
Curiosity creates knowledge to us, and then we'll have desires.
Desires aspires us to be passionate.
Therefore we began to hope and make sacrifices.
Enduring the pain… just to fill in satisfaction.
For a one thing we are fond of, yet are vital in any way.
Undeniable that happiness is what we treasure in life.
Calmly embrace life as it is as we were the one who created it.
Life…
It's bordering on a tale.
It's meaningless without questions.
It's meaningless without answers.
Though, a question is not a question without an answer.
Some may find a blind alley to a typical question.
A question we think has no answer.
But I'm here to tell you, that question is left for us to answer.
Patiently endure circumstances and liberate yourself from abhorrence.
And soon, you'll find the answer that you seek.
Life…
Eccentrically, it is full of surprises.
And that makes it wonderful in any way.
Though, we are a contender in this world we live.
Life is a stage, where we play an individual yet vital role in it.
Every single move we make attracts criticizes before praises.
Consequently, expect the unexpected and dare to make changes.
Move forward. One step after another and you'll see what life has to offer with only a little patience.
With this, I dare to tell you that in time, "everything is going to be okay".
Yuyu
She is
The one I knew for a long time ago.
The one I could not compare to another person.
The one I adore and most gentlemen's does as well.
Thus, the one that every girl's would envy with only one stare.
She possess…
A wonderful smile that could brighten a dim room to an excel space.
A soft gentle voice like a subtle whisper of a seraph
A beautiful face like an angel from heaven above.
Possibly, she is the most picture perfect person I know.
She is…
A girl in the eyes of her father.
A lady in the eyes of her mother.
A women in the eyes of the gents and a divine being in the eye of any lady.
Also, she is a splendid mother in the eyes of her one and only child.
Though she…
Once upon a time ago,
Was irked with life in her puerile mind,
Was rebel in her adolescent days.
Was baffled of verdicts and her strength of will went wide of the mark.
She was amiss, in sin against herself and was in a deep pleasure of depression.
But there she was…
Taking matter seriously, bolting on her responsibilities.
Compelling all and sundry thoughts was a sin.
Attesting others that there are answers to any questions.
And that, she is a candle in a core of a dark room.
So she…
Inspires me, she makes me believe in second chances.
Encourage me, being more prime and subtle in making decisions.
Thought me, about life in an astonishing perspectives and perceptions.
And showed me that love is vital and to love unreservedly.
I am hollow without her and life would be empty with the absence of her affections.
I specially dedicate this to her,
My unquestionably love, my one and only sister.
The one I knew for a long time ago.
The one I could not compare to another person.
The one I adore and most gentlemen's does as well.
Thus, the one that every girl's would envy with only one stare.
She possess…
A wonderful smile that could brighten a dim room to an excel space.
A soft gentle voice like a subtle whisper of a seraph
A beautiful face like an angel from heaven above.
Possibly, she is the most picture perfect person I know.
She is…
A girl in the eyes of her father.
A lady in the eyes of her mother.
A women in the eyes of the gents and a divine being in the eye of any lady.
Also, she is a splendid mother in the eyes of her one and only child.
Though she…
Once upon a time ago,
Was irked with life in her puerile mind,
Was rebel in her adolescent days.
Was baffled of verdicts and her strength of will went wide of the mark.
She was amiss, in sin against herself and was in a deep pleasure of depression.
But there she was…
Taking matter seriously, bolting on her responsibilities.
Compelling all and sundry thoughts was a sin.
Attesting others that there are answers to any questions.
And that, she is a candle in a core of a dark room.
So she…
Inspires me, she makes me believe in second chances.
Encourage me, being more prime and subtle in making decisions.
Thought me, about life in an astonishing perspectives and perceptions.
And showed me that love is vital and to love unreservedly.
I am hollow without her and life would be empty with the absence of her affections.
I specially dedicate this to her,
My unquestionably love, my one and only sister.
Dk Sharinoor Iriasuk, Kusairi.
Another happy ending
NOT! banyak la hepi... another failure to launch is more like it! Jiwa ku di kacau benda alah yg tah hape jadah la.. haihh.... bohsan la camni. At start everything turns out just fine. Everything was sweet and colourful. Then it ended like this. I guess it was my mistake taking things for granted. I wasn't focusing on what I was doing. I should've been more cautious.
My mistake for putting my guards down so easily. I turn bitter as soon I notice a dent in the relationship. But still, we go on... and on... and on. To the point things went a little off-side. Now that it involve my family, then I realised to where this relationship is going. Though, I'm glad it happend now. It's like now or never ryte. So i let go. Not only letting go of the relationship, I let go all of the hidden sorrow, disappointments, depressions and bitterness. Though those good moments and colourful days, i'll cherish them. It's another lesson learnt for me.
So there goes my 'another happy ending'.
Bye Bye now and Helo to a new chapter!
One step, Forward.
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