Today

Today I had been thinking. My mind swirls around; making me feel numb. Everything around me seems floating and it went in slow motion. Thinking what will the new chapter of another new year bring? What 2010 will offer me? Would it be just another same old thing repeating? Would I be smarter? Would I be fooled? Would I be wooed? Would I be good? Bad? Sick? Well? Fine? Ok? I don't know. I scares me.

Tomorrow

My dad is leaving for Labuan. But he'll be back here by new year's eve. I've got an early day at the office tomorrow. I have to be there by 8.45am. Early shits. I gotta finish the files on my desk tomorrow, as usually, I'll be busy and others will be busy as well; busy talking shits. *pfft* Utter : Monday Blues!

2009

I had some resolutions made last year on new year's eve. I managed to succeed only some of it. I failed to succeed some resolution that I really wanted to accomplish. I guess I had to drag it to next year. This year had been good I guess. Shits happened. But the shits wasn't so bad after all. I realised my life is just coming together after it had been broken into pieces couple years ago. So now I can say that I'm merely cured. I managed to not fall on my face again nor bang my head on anything hard. Good job huh? Heh.

What else..? I met my long lost friend last week. That was great seeing him for almost 10 years didn't met. It's cool to know that he's doing good. He's still is cool & care-free. Same old Azfar.

What else? Owh! I spent two whole months in Miri. I heart Miri. I had a great time feeling home with my family and close friends. They're all still the same. Some are married, some are screwed, some are having commitments, developing careers but most of them are still puerile. Work hard, play hard I think. Same old shits going on. I wonder will they'll manage to make a leap in their life later; one day. But I guess, who am I to judge nor to say anything. It's their life. It's cool if they're cool with it. Different souls, differ sins, differ deeds and differ graves. So yeah, I can't say much, I'll stay and I'll observe. Then I'll learn better. But I do hope for the best for them. So, take care is the best thing I can say.

Moreover, along this year journey I discover a great comfort. This time it's different. After rain; in definite reason of an after rain. Fresh, liberating and very much calming. Hence, I learned alot since it happened. Cross my heart, this is what you should know, "I just love the way you are". He was everything I thought he'd never were. I met a place I thought I'd never be and he made me living in a world whereas all about us; a private emotion. Something I'd love to not forget, thus to not be in bore. I'd stick around, hell! I've been sticking around for the few months away. You can't imagine how grateful and amused I am when discovering all of these. It was so unnoticed. For once, I loved this surprise. Guess I, somehow do like surprises. But this ain't an ordinary surprise. An alien; why be typical if you can be different? I feel like stellar. Full and jubilant. Amorous.

2010

What will you offer me this time? Aside deeds, sins, obstacles and challenges. A new chapter is about to be opened. Residing the past experiences and to be applied of those lesson learned. Create changes in order to move from here to there and from there to somewhere. One step after another. Be good. Be wise. Be careful. And be respectful. This year, I'll learn to love myself. Again, how can you love someone if you could not love yourself? One person allows me to do so. So in this year also, I'll stick with 'you' as long as you want me to. Take care. Be ready to wave 2009 goodbye and Hello 2010.

Smile always!