Beautiful Worlds

Millions of couples endure the nightmare of relationship breakdown. Even I did. Hence, I even had names. Moreover, we all know that every year the divorce rates show no sign of slowing. It seems that many people find it very difficult to form a lasting and happy relationship.

Without doubt, the single worst way to spoil a relationship is to be argumentative; for the only reason is that you need or want to be right. Argumentative people will argue to the degree where they "win" about everything and anything. They will not listen and consider their partner's viewpoints and will rarely choose to compromise. Any criticism, even if fair and justified will be met with defensive and sometimes angry responses as the need to be right overrides the need to compromise and improve the relationship. We should bear in mind that winning arguments isn't the objective, but what is best for your relationship is that you want it to last.

Respect for each is absolutely fundamental. This means accepting and loving your partner for the wonderful, unique human being they are. However, many people actually believe they "own" their partner, and expect them to conform in ways they deem appropriate. This is more like slavery than love! I would like to high light that your partner is not your private property. They certainly aren't your slave and it isn't conducive to a happy relationship to restrict their freedoms by treating them this way. Your partner may want to grow in ways you may not like or even feel comfortable with but preventing their growth not only stifles them and vice versa. It’s because your partner will treat you in the same way. Instead of restricting each other's freedoms, it is far better encourage your partner to grow and become the person they want to be. Indeed, this is the only way true love can flourish.

They say "all you need is love". Frankly, to me it simply isn't true. Successful relationships require more than love if they are to last. Humans were made in imperfections and all of us have our quirks and habits that can grate on our partners. Life also throws us some pretty trying times and getting through these times takes determination and hard work and many relationships flounder during such times. Along with the changes we all have to deal, you can only see love while it’s there and acknowledge that it isn't the only ingredient needed for a successful relationship.

Keeping the spark alive in a relationship is something many couples fail to do. Satisfaction sets in, you start to take your partner for granted and gradually, the spark fades and dies. It's so easy to fall into the contentment trap and the result is you stop making an effort for your partner. Your appearance changes, you don't go out as much, and lots of other activities you used to do have been ditched. The mystery has gone, the challenge has gone, and the spark just isn't there! Keep it alive by making the effort to do new things, to enjoy new adventures and remember to do things separate from each other as well as with each other and you'll reap the rewards.

Moreover, routines also kill relationships in double quick time, they are that bad. Ok, we all need a certain amount of routine in our lives but when there is so much routine life becomes totally predictable, the boredom critter creeps in and eats away at your relationship. Imagine being in a relationship where you do the same things each and every week, nothing new is tried, no excitement, no adventure, and no buzz! You know what happens to a garden if it isn't watered? It withers and dies. That's what's happening here. Make the effort to keep the spark alive by doing and enjoying new experiences and keep the boredom critter away. Effort people, effort!

And so, this is somewhat experiences I learned with my special someone. I hope one day you could experience it as well. Indeed, we are in bliss at these point despites all circumstances. And guess what?

I believe this is just the beginning of an absolute greatness.